My Name is Quinn Too
by Maz Kazama
Summary: Jonas and Quinn finally meet but their differences may drive them and the SGC apart. With a descended Daniel and being in love for the first time to cope with, along with meeting the man he was cloned from, Quinn's journey of discovery isn't over yet.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Whee, here it is folks, the sequel to My Name is Quinn  
Disclaimer: Quinn and the other OCs are kind of mine but nothing else is  
Warnings: Oh gosh (get comfortable folks) Slavery, abuse, child abuse, torture, langauge, graphic violence, implied sexual abuse.  
This might end up being tweaked before the story is over - I'm far mrore of a perfectionist now than when I started the first installment and updates might be slow as I'm at uni now but I'll try my best, I hope you enjoy.**

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"Quinn?!"

That name again. My name. Me. That name is only thing I've had to hold on to through months of torture in the place of the man I took it from. And I guess that means it's not my name really, is it? I'm a number, a statistic…a thing. A dying, broken thing at that.

There's a woman kneeling down beside me, her soft hands tracing gently along my bruised temples. If I had the strength I'd try to move away but I it's effort enough to open my eyes and stare into hers. I'm not supposed to look anyone in the eye, Nirrti taught me that, but I'm bleeding and dying and a whisper of a memory of a man I'm supposed know urges me to go out fighting. So I raise my eyes, jet black and defiant, to meet the white glowing ones I know will be staring at me.

And then I know I'm dying because what I'm seeing isn't what I should be seeing. The eyes that meet mine are blue, not white, framed by cropped blonde hair and set in the face of a woman I only know from memories and dreams. I should know her, it's important, but I'm bruised and broken and there's so much blood I'm only sure of one thing.

"'I'm…dying" I tell her, because I know I need to speak. This is an important moment and I need to do something so I tell her the only thing I know.

"No…no you're not. Hang in there, come on, Quinn…"

The woman is talking, saying the name that isn't mine over and over but I don't know how to hang in there when I'm lying in a pool of my own blood and drifting away faster than I can breathe.

"Oh God…"

An anguished sob reaches my ears from what feels like a hundred miles away and the emotion in it is a change from the malice and lust I'm used to. And all of a sudden I want to stay. I don't' want to be hurt and broken; I want to live because now I know why I held on. I stayed alive because I fell in love and even if my concussed mind can't figure out what that means through the pain and blood loss, I know it's important.

I try to grab the hand currently running through my hair with my non-broken arm, the one that isn't chained to the wall and broken in five places, but all I manage is to twitch my fingers pathetically. It's enough though as this new person moves to hold it gently, cradling it in her own. There are more hands around me now but I focus on this one because I'm dying and she's important and that's enough for me. It has to be enough.

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His name is Quinn. That's what they told me. His name is Quinn, he's six years old and he's my clone from another reality, genetically accelerated through his childhood and moulded through abuse and experience into the perfect soldier.

Except he doesn't look so perfect now. There's blood everywhere, fresh, crimson blood, so striking that the pale figure in the middle of it all is only the second thing I notice. When I do finally set eyes on him however my head spins and for a second I'm convinced it _must _be me down there and I'm having an out of body experience. It's one thing to see a photo of someone who looks like you but seeing him there in three dimensions is startling.

I snap back to reality when Major Carter gasps in shock, rushing forward to the man she fell in love with and I begin to asses the situation. The blood is indication enough that it's bad but as I look closer I'm even more horrified. His right wrist is manacled to the wall, high enough so that his arm, clearly broken and dislocated, is extended. He must be in agony from that alone.

"Help him!"

Major Carter's desperate and pleading tone is a vast contrast from her usual professional and controlled manner and it shocks me into reacting but, if I'm honest, I don't even know where to start. Janet, my fiancé, is already kneeling down beside him, alongside Major Carter, checking his vitals and trying to stem the bleeding. Her tone is anxious but controlled as she barks orders to Lieutenant Renshaw of SG-18 but I can tell, from experience, that she's simply repressing her feelings for the moment.

Colonel O'Neill is supervising as Teal'c cuts through the cuff around Quinn's injured wrist whilst Colonel Murray readies the stretcher and all I can do is stand and watch what must be pretty much a replay of what happened when I was found, four months ago, in the same position.

As I watch them move the battered body of my clone onto the stretcher and hear the whoosh as the Stargate activates, all I can do is pray that this version of myself will survive the after-effects of Nirrti's torture too.

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**AN: Just a short prologue, other chapters will be longer. You can catch updates on my LJ if you don't want to wait for me to post them to I hope this wasn't too bad and I'm not too rusty at writing Quinn. Thanks for your time. **


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Okies, chapter 1 folks. Two chapters within a month - I'm on a roll! Same warnings as usual.  
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I'd heard so much about this man from the people of the SGC that I had come to believe that I almost knew him. He _was_another version of me after all; it stood to reason that we would be similar. However, as I stood watching him from the infirmary observation deck, I wasn't so sure. I've always felt I have a good 'people-sense', you need one when you're dealing with politicians like I used to back on Kelowna but, as I observed Quinn sat up in his bed, Colonel O'Neill perched on the side, my confidence was wavering and I was beginning to believe that the only similarities between us were physical.

And there _were_psychical similarities, no doubt about that, he was my clone after all. I'd stopped doing double takes every time I saw him but I still wasn't used to seeing an exact copy of myself. I'd grown up an only child on Kelowna so I hadn't even had a brother, let alone a **twin**. There were differences too, however, which made it a little easier to cope with.

His hair was noticeably shorter than mine. One of the first things he'd requested when he was strong enough to speak was to have his hair shaved off. A weird request in my opinion but I looked forward to finding out the reasons behind it, I was, as always, curious and inquisitive.

Other differences weren't as superficial though, the bruises from his time spent in Nirrti's possession might have faded but there were other marks, scars that echoed what Janet and the others had told me about this man's past; about his time as a slave working as a soldier for the ruling forces of his planet, _his_Kelowna.

There was a thin scar along his forehead, the kind of mark that didn't detract from his appearance but made me wonder what he would look like without it and then feel guilty for thinking about it. Other marks, however, weren't so innocuous. A curved scar above his right eye hinted at the type of life of this man had lead and a mark snaking round his neck, mostly obscured by the bandaging around his shoulder, confirmed it. My clone had lived in a dangerous world, I was sure of that.

He'd been here a fortnight after being transferred from the hospital but I still hadn't approached him, preferring to observe from a distance until I felt the time was right. At the minute I was beginning to feel that the time wouldn't ever be right if I couldn't figure this guy out. Janet had told me stories about his arrival on Earth, about how he'd been terrified of her in the infirmary, how he'd referred to her as 'Mistress' until she ordered him not to but the man I was watching now didn't seem anything like the man she had been describing and he certainly didn't seem anything like _me_.

During my recovery I'd been timid and terrified, flinching from every touch and had developed a phobia of needles and hospitals that I'd never managed to shake since. Quinn however was a docile patient, accepting the cannular they inserted into the back of his hand with no more than an almost-silent whimper and offering his arm for whatever injections Janet and her staff deemed necessary. It was during these procedures that another difference became apparent; whereas I had flinched from every contact, Quinn seemed to crave physical reassurance. Janet would always be holding his hand or making some contact when she carried out her tests and Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c always made sure they were in reaching distance whenever they visited. Even now, as Janet began changing his bandages, Colonel O'Neill had his hand on Quinn's uninjured shoulder.

Quinn himself was obviously in a lot of pain, the wounds beneath the bandages were still red and sore and his ribs had yet to knit together. His arm was still in a plaster cast and Janet told me he was still suffering from a slight infection. Despite all this he only gave a tiny hiss of pain as his cuts were cleansed and then re-bandaged, only the tensing of his brown and narrowing of his eyes revealing how much pain he was in.

"Atta boy, Quinn" Colonel O'Neill said proudly to Quinn and I watched as my clone smiled at the praise.

"Can I go now?" Quinn's voice sounded childlike as he turned pleading eyes to the woman I love.

"I told you, Quinn, another week" Janet chastised but with an affectionate smile, one hand on his wrist as she checked his pulse.

"You said when I can walk" Quinn pouted, "And I can walk."

"I meant on your own" Janet replied firmly and Quinn sighed disappointedly. It was strange to see him behaving so at ease with the Colonel. I knew Janet had the ability to put anyone at ease but whenever I'd tried to interact with the Colonel, prior to my capture and subsequent rescue, I'd always been met with hostility. Here O'Neill was acting almost fatherly towards my clone and I wonder what he'd done to win the Colonel over

"_Maybe…"_a voice in my head hissed maliciously _"It's what he __**hasn't**__done"_and memories of Doctor Jackson's death filled my head. It had been harder to try and put that behind me, harder for everyone really, since the Doctor had unascended. Trying to cope with a barely alive Quinn and an amnesiac Daniel, along with me still traumatised had been hard on everyone but there had been a certain 'something' in the atmosphere that had prevented us from sinking into total despair. The fact that, despite all our troubles, 'the gang' as Colonel O'Neill put it 'was finally back together' and, somewhat bizarrely, it was Quinn who had made it possible.

General Hammond had been quick to inform the Tok'ra and the Asgard that, even though I was back at the SGC, he still wanted to be alerted if Nirrti's ship was seen again. And, four months later, it had been – orbiting the planet Vis Uban. The Tok'ra had acted, as they often seem to do, thinking of themselves first and shooting the ship down to the planet's surface. The look in Colonel O'Neill's eyes when he found out was enough to convince me that he would never forgive the Tok'ra for that, even if the crash landing hadn't affected Quinn at all. I think it was at that moment, as I had stared into his furious and frightened gaze that I _truly_realised what an affect my clone had had on these people in the short space of time he had been there. _A far greater effect than I ever did_, I had thought glumly and, as I watched the Colonel sneaking Quinn a square of chocolate without Janet noticing, I was feeling the same sense of unworthiness all over again.

"He doesn't bite you know."

I turned at the sound of Janet's voice, surprised to see her walking towards me, a knowing smile on her face.

"Seriously" she said as she came to stand beside me, looking down at Quinn as I was. "He wants to see you."

"I know" I replied quietly, like I always did. Quinn was, Janet had explained, eager to meet me, especially now he was feeling better and was becoming restless in the infirmary. What I didn't understand was why. It seemed like he had plenty of friends here already - far more than I had ever had during my time on Earth.

"He's worried about you" Janet replied, as if sensing my inner confusion "And he says he wants to meet another Kelownan."

"It's not the same" I said, shaking my head. This man was from another_universe_and his Kelowna was _nothing_like mine.

"It's not me you should be telling" Janet said pointedly, turning to look back through the window at Quinn who was staring dejectedly at the IV in his arm and turning puppy-dog eyes on Lieutenant Renshaw who quickly caved and, whilst not pulling out the IV, offered him another square of chocolate.

"Do you know they're doing that?" I asked Janet somewhat bemusedly.

"Of course" she smiled knowingly, "But it's not as if I have the heart to stop it" she laughed and I shook my head in exasperation. How on Earth had my clone managed to charm himself around seemingly everyone in the SGC without even trying? It was then, as I watched Lieutenant Renshaw guiltily reach for another square of chocolate I made my decision – I **had** to speak to this man.

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**AN: Beta'd by Night's Darkness, hope you enjoyed :D**


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Sorry for the delay guys! Not many warnings for this one folks.

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"You came back for me." 

Those were the first words I said on my return to Earth and I was saying them again, in the same relieved, delighted and somewhat amazed tone as Samantha Carter entered the infirmary. She simply smiled in response, probably sick of hearing that I assumed. I, on the other hand, didn't think I would _ever_ get tired of saying those words because they were true - Sam and SG-1 and everyone else…they **had **come back for me.

"You saved me." This was whispered but Sam heard it anyway, shaking her head ruefully as she perched on the edge of my bed, reaching instinctively for my hand.

"Of course we did." she smiled gently, reaching for my hand which I instinctively placed in hers, "Now stop dwelling on it."

I reacted automatically to the command before feeling Sam squeeze my hand a little and remembering where I was. "But I like to dwell on it." I responded quietly, "You rescued me, you saved my life."

I could see Sam was struggling to understand why this made me happy. SG-1 rescued each other all the time but on Kelowna it was usually deemed a waste of resources to search for people missing in action. The enemies of Kelowna who used hostage-taking as a strategy were usually the civilisations who fell the fastest. So, whilst SG-1 took it for granted that they rescued each other, I still felt incredibly privileged.

"I don't like to think about that day, Quinn." The major's eyes were solemn now, a little misty with memories. "Seeing you there, so hurt and…bloody and…" Sam looked away a little but I could see tears in her eyes, "We thought you were dying!" This came out as more of a sob and I froze at the sound of it. Why did I have to mess everything up? Why did I have to upset people so much? I'd only been back a month or so and already I was screwing things up.

"I-I'm sorry." My apology seemed so pathetic but I didn't know what else to say. Being injured had been pretty much the norm on Kelowna and during my time with Nirrti so it was hard to remember that Earthlings tended to find it very upsetting.

"It's alright, Quinn." I could see Sam forcing her emotions into control, "It's been a tough year," she said apologetically, "I just want to forget it and move on."

"Forget…all of it?" I asked tentatively, my hand subconsciously straying to my mouth as I remembered the kiss I had shared with the Major. Sam, however, noticed the action and seemed to be able to tell what I was thinking.

"I wanted to wait until you were better to talk about that." Sam's tone sounded serious and her face was unreadable - she was obviously unhappy with what I had done. I dropped my gaze to my lap as I fiddled nervously with the infirmary sheets.

"I'm really sorry, Sam." I didn't look a her while I spoke, "I just…I thought I wouldn't see you again and I was…I was so_scared_, I just wanted to pretend for a second that you would've loved me too, just to make it easier to leave. I just wanted to…imagine…"

Sam had stayed silent throughout my nervous explanation; well technically I hadn't really _explained_anything but how could I when I barely understood it myself? All I knew was that I had fallen in love with this woman and kissing her had been one of the best experiences of my life. I also knew that I could never tell her this. As I finished, I was aware of her shaking her head in apparent disbelief and I cringed internally.

"You really don't have a clue, do you?"

I simply shook my head at this, feeling rejected and a little hurt.

"I'm sorry."

And then I felt nothing but surprise as Sam leaned forward, pressing her lips gently against mine. The kiss was brief and gentle, nothing like the passionate, desperate kiss we had shared before my capture, but it meant so much more to me knowing that Sam had initiated it. As Sam pulled away I could see her smiling and I felt a somewhat stupefied grin spreading across my own face.

"Are you _still_sorry?" She asked jokingly and I simply shook my head, feeling speechless, even as Sam leaned forward again and whispered in my ear "Neither am I."

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I was used to Doctor Janet tinkering about with my IV, although I was beginning to think that she checked a little more than was necessary. Still, I enjoyed her company and it was infinitely preferable to being alone. Plus, it gave me a chance to ask about Jonas, and about his constant refusal to see me. I'd been trying to figure out why he wouldn't see me but I was never good at figuring out other people's motivations. From what I'd heard, Jonas was the complete opposite, with a flair for character assessment – yet another thing he surpassed me on... With Jonas and his good looks, good health, intelligence and experience, I was amazed the SGC even kept me around. They all insisted I was just as worthy as Jonas to be here but I knew it wasn't true, and I guess Jonas must have known too, why else wouldn't he let me talk to him? 

"Is it because he's the original? And I'm just a copy?" I mumbled my thoughts out loud to myself, forgetting for a moment that Doctor Janet was still around.

"Oh, Quinn, not this again..." Janet sighed, obviously having heard what I'd said. Her tone was sympathetic however so I knew I hadn't annoyed her. "You've got to stop worrying about that." she said, running a hand through my hair and I shrugged as best I could with one functioning arm.

"But I…I want to see him" I protested quietly, "He doesn't want me around…maybe I should just go…"

"Don't be silly" Janet replied sternly, "No one wants you to leave." she insisted, "And besides, where would you go?"

"I dunno…" I glanced away nervously, "Back to the hospital? Back to….Kelow-"

"Quinn, that's enough!" Doctor Janet reprimanded "You're never **ever**to talk like that again, do you understand me?" She almost-yelled but instead of the fear I was used to, I felt something else….frustration? Anger? Whatever it was, I could feel my eyes narrowing and my eyebrows knitting into a frown, my one working hand clenched into a fist in the blankets and I scowled.

"You can't tell me what to do!" I snapped

"Quinn, listen to what you're saying…" Janet pleaded, "You would go back to Kelowna, to what you're most afraid of, because you think we don't want you?" She questioned and I nodded, then paused in thought before changing my mind and shaking my head and finally shrugging in confusion.

"Not everyone" I tried to explain," Just Jonas. H-he's the one with a right to be here. He belongs in this universe…not me."

"Don't talk like that." Janet admonished, "You have just as much right to be here as Jonas does, when you meet him, he'll tell you that himself."

"_If_I meet him" I countered, still feeling somewhat resentful, "Which doesn't look like it'll be any time soon."

Doctor Janet smiled at this, retaping my IV and patting my hand gently before looking me in the eyes and shaking her head "It will be if I have anything to do with it."


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Revision, Uni, moving back home, work and xbox 360 are just some of the excuses I'm using for the delay in updating this time. Hope you all had a great Christmas and New Year!**

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He was asleep when I finally went to see him. His eyes lightly closed and his head tilted on the pillow facing me. His eyes were moving rapidly beneath the closed lids and I wondered briefly if the irises would be green or black.

I'd geared myself up for a tense encounter, for something awkward and uncomfortable, and instead I was greeted with a peaceful, quiet scenario over which I had complete control. Was this a final test for me? One last final chance to back out of this?

And then that chance was gone as bleary, unfocused eyes fluttered open and attempted to focus on me. I simply stared into them, amazed to see this person who was so much like me, in such close proximity.

And then, suddenly, I was startled out of my shock by a quiet voice.

"Hello."

Even his voice was the same as mine. A little quieter, a little more hesitant, but the same vocals.

"My name is Quinn."

I knew that of course, just as he knew what I was about to say.

"I'm Jonas."

There was a pause as he waited for me to continue and, when I didn't, he cracked a small smile.

"You came to see me."

I'd noticed Quinn's slight tendency to state the obvious - he didn't have the social skills to use any clever metaphors or witty remarks on reflex and, with the nerves he was probably feeling, it was impressive that he'd even managed to say anything. Which was more than I'd managed…I thought to myself, wanting to speak but not having a clue what to say.

Quinn seemed to pick up on my awkwardness and he smiled a little, shifting his gaze to his lap.

"Doctor Janet made you come, didn't she?" He sighed, sounding…disappointed?

"Well…yeah but…I-I was…I would…"

"It doesn't matter" Quinn replied, "I just wanted to see you, in person...if that's alright with you?"

There was a pause, and then, when I didn't reply, Quinn spoke again, his voice timid. "Are you mad with me?"

"No" I replied automatically, angry with myself for giving my clone that impression, "I'm mad with myself. I should have come to see you a long time ago I was just..." I trailed off, a little reluctant to open up to a stranger even if he did look like me.

"I just don't like it in here very much" I finally confided, Quinn's expression as I spoke revealed he was thinking exactly the same as I was… _"Understatement of the century there, Jonas." _

"They make you better in here." Quinn stated in reply, though it seemed to me he was trying to convince himself as much me, "There's nothing to be scared of…"

"Right" I responded flatly, "I know that."

There was another slight pause as I tried to determine just how much of my emotional state Quinn was able to decipher. I didn't have to think for long, however, as he spoke again, blunt as usual.

"She used needles on you too, huh?"

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And there it was. One little statement that rocked my world. My heart rate sped up, images passed through my memory and Quinn's words echoed in my head _"She used needles on you…"_

And on that note I turned and walked away, feeling Quinn's greyish eyes staring at my back with every step.

Back in my quarters, as I slumped against the door, I caught sight of my reflection and had to remind myself for a split-second that it _was _my reflection and not my clone staring back at me. Yet when I closed my eyes, trying to paradoxically force myself to relax, I could still see his face…my face...in my mind.

"_She used needles on you too, huh?" _

How could one little sentence leave me like…I stared at my trembling hands…like _this_? They were only words after all, and yet…maybe it wasn't the words that had shocked me so much, but the tone in which Quinn had spoken them. Nonchalant, conversational…'Gee, the weather sure is nice today, going to watch the football later? Oh by the way, this one time, I was held captive and injected so many times I had more holes than a pincushion, how about you?'

"Fuck!" I never usually swore, not even in pain, but I had to shout something, anything, to stop the hysterical thoughts racing through my head, and the Earthling expletive was just that little bit more vicious than its Kelownan counterpart.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck…." I repeated softly, finding a modicum of calm in releasing some frustration. "Come on, Jonas." I spoke aloud, trying to make eye contact with my reflection, "You dealt with this months ago." Or so everyone seemed to think anyway…

"_And they're going to carry on thinking that" _I thought to myself determinedly. _"I'm not Jonas Quinn the Coward anymore. One stupid sentence about something that happened nearly half a year ago shouldn't leave you cowering in your room like a child" _I chastised myself, trying to inspire some motivation and anger in myself, anything to wipe away this sense of fear and helplessness.

"_Your clone isn't crying like a little kid l, he's not scared, and he's nearly three decades younger than you." _

"I'm not scared either." I probably should have been worried that I was arguing with myself but my head was already so full of worries and questions I don't think I had time to question my own sanity.

"I'm not scared" I repeated, before closing my eyes and issuing myself the ultimate challenge."

"_Then prove it…"_

* * *

He wasn't alone when I re-entered the infirmary but that shouldn't have come as a surprise – he was hardly ever alone. This time it was Colonel O'Neill by his bedside, pretty much the last person I wanted to face at that moment, and I stopped in my tracks, debating whether or not to leave again. Once again, Quinn didn't give me that opportunity as his gaze flickered in my direction and he announced with a hint of excitement.

"Jonas is back!"

"Nice of you to join us again" O'Neill drawled sarcastically, obviously not impressed by my previous exit.

"I-I want to speak to Quinn" I replied, gathering up what little courage I had managed to work up and adding pointedly "…alone."

"That alright with you, Quinn?" The Colonel turned to my clone who nodded.

"Sure."

I tried to ignore the Colonel's glare as he patted Quinn reassuringly on the shoulder before making his way to the exit but there was no mistaking the meaning behind it.

_Don't upset him again…_

"You came back." Quinn's voice interrupted my thoughts and I was grateful, I didn't want to dwell too much on the Colonel's intentions. Still, Quinn's prompt for me to speak wasn't exactly helping me feel any more at ease and I scowled in resentment.

"Observant aren't you?" I snarked even though inside I was willing myself to stop being so edgy and harsh.

"It's these advanced eyes of mine." Quinn tapped the side of his head with his one working hand as he spoke calmly, a smirk playing on his lips, and I couldn't help but smile. Maybe the kid was smarter than I originally gave him credit for and his little joke _had _helped to lighten the mood.

"Look…" I started, moving to sit in the chair Colonel O'Neill had recently been occupying. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Quinn replied happily, "I sometimes want to storm out of here too."

"Not just for that." I explained, surprised by Quinn's willingness to forgive so easily and feeling even more guilty for my previous behaviour because of it.

"Quinn you…" I tried to meet the eyes of my clone who was a little hesitant to make eye-contact. "You saved my life" I stated firmly as our eyes finally met. "You gave yourself up, knowing you were going to be tortured, so that I could be rescued and I didn't even come to see you to say thank you."

Quinn's face was unreadable and I couldn't even be sure if he understood the implications of what I was saying.

"That's not 'okay', Quinn." I concluded. "It was disrespectful and ungrateful of me – you deserve better."

Quinn simply shifted his gaze away from mine and gave a small shrug with shoulder.

"Quinn?" I prompted, not liking my inability to read what my clone was feeling, "Are you angry with-"

"I-I never had anyone apologise to me like that…" Quinn's tone was a quiet mixture or surprise and wonder as he interrupted me.

"Like…that?" I echoed, wondering what had been so special about my apology which I had considered rather pathetic.

"Like…" Quinn searched for the words for a few seconds "Like an equal."

I paused for a second, taken aback slightly by my clone's words and I tried not to let it show on face, instead responding calmly but firmly, "We _are_ equals, Quinn. You're an equal to everyone here – don't let anyone tell you otherwise. And don't ever let anyone treat you the way I did again, alright?"

I wasn't even sure where the words were coming from as I spoke, only that from the second Quinn had spoken his sentence I'd felt an incredible surge of protectiveness. This was someone who'd been through Hell…twice, and it wasn't fair, it just wasn't damned fair.

Quinn simply stared for a moment as everything I said soaked in before replying,

"Thanks for coming to see me, Jonas, it was real nice of you."

It was hard to tell whether that was a hint for me to leave, a sarcastic comment or just Quinn trying to explain what he felt as best he could. Under the circumstances, I guessed the latter of the three and I simply smiled.

"It was a long overdue visit." I replied and Quinn simply shrugged half-heartedly again. He obviously still didn't believe what I had said earlier, that he didn't deserve to be treated like crap. Still, there would be time for that later, I wanted our first (or did this count as second??) meeting to be as relaxed as possible, sure I'd done a bad job of that so far but I was trying to work on it.

"So…" I began, when it was obvious Quinn didn't have a clue what to say, "If it wasn't to yell at me for being a complete asshole, why _did _you want to meet me?"

I watched as my clone looked away again, I was already beginning to learn to interpret Quinn's behaviour and I knew he was nervous.

"_Damn…" _I thought to myself, _"Isn't there anything that doesn't scare this Kid? I'm not that terrifying, surely?"_

"You don't have to answer" I said in attempt to put Quinn at ease but, to my slight surprise, he _did _answer.

"I wanted to see it for myself" He began, seeming to relax a little as he spoke.

"Everyone was always saying how well you were dealing with what happened and how you were back at work and you never had nightmares. They were all so impressed with you and I just wanted to see you to make sure, because-" Quinn's voice broke and I could see his eyes glisten with moisture, which he blinked away angrily, the closest I'd ever seen him come to crying.

"Because if you can be okay, Jonas, then that means I can be okay too."

It was simple but flawed logic and I knew deep down, Quinn knew that too but I could see how desperately he wanted, no _needed_, to believe it and it's for that reason, and that reason alone, that I ended my first meeting with my clone by looking him in the eyes and telling him a complete lie.

"I'm 'okay', Quinn….I'm totally 'okay'."


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Hey, a pretty fast update for me, no? Not so many warnings for this one.**

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As Jonas walked away, this time after saying goodbye first, I was grateful (for the fist time since I had returned) to be alone with my thoughts for a minute. Jonas was the original version of myself, that much I knew, but I wondered what exactly that _meant_. Was that who I was supposed to be, or just a reminder of who I could have been? And what did _I_mean to Jonas? It was still hard to get my head around meaning _anything_to_anyone_but I knew, from Jonas' reaction, that I had had an effect on him – whether I wanted to or not and it was something I had to deal with. I also knew, as I looked around the deserted room and felt my heart began to speed up a little bit in panic, that it wasn't something I could deal with alone.

Whether it was the beeping of the heart rate monitor or the almost psychic instinct the people here seemed to have when 'one of their own' was upset I wasn't alone for long as Doctor Janet and another familiar face entered the room and I smiled as I set eyes on them, my panic instantly forgotten.

"Colonel Murray!" I beamed at the entrance of my CO and Doctor Janet gave a fake-sigh.

"Don't care about me any more, Quinn?" She sighed and I shook my head urgently,

"I do!" I insisted, "I just, I haven't seen-I'm happy to see you- I…"

"Easy Quinn…" Janet kept her tone light, "I was joking."

I simply nodded, noticing the glances Colonel Murray and Doctor Janet exchanged.

"_Jonas would have understood that joke…" _I thought to myself glumly, startling when Colonel Murray nudged me playfully on the shoulder.

"Come on, cheer up." Colonel Murray's words sounded more like an order than encouragement but, whilst this might sound depressing, I revelled in the safety and predictability of my commanding officer. "First time I've come to see you and you're coherent enough to notice me, I'll be damned if you're going to spend it worrying" the Colonel continued and I nodded.

"Yes Sir."

"Besides," Doctor Janet added, "I've got some news that should cheer you up."

I looked up at this, unable to prevent the feelings of hope and curiosity – it had to be….

"Up for a little stroll?" Murray finished my thoughts aloud and I grinned.

"Yes Sir!" I replied enthusiastically,

"Don't get him too excited." Janet chastised the Colonel and even I could tell she wasn't joking. "It's just a test, alright? I don't want you out of here before you can walk, at least a little bit." She explained seriously and I nodded. Perhaps it was the cocktail of painkillers numbing my system or the fact that no one would tell me just _how_bad my injuries had been but I was confident, or maybe even arrogant, that walking wouldn't be a problem. I was a Kelownan soldier for crying out loud, not a clumsy Earthling toddler…walking? – no problem.

…Or maybe not.

I couldn't help but smile as Doctor Janet supervised a young nurse cutting through my plaster cast. The saw she was using looked and sounded terrifying and I hadn't been enthusiastic about having it near my leg but Doctor Janet had simply looked into my eyes, speaking only with her expression but, for once, I had understood her meaning.

_Trust me_.

And I had replied similarly, merely nodding determinedly.

_I do._

It was probably another test that Janet was allowing a stranger to be in such close contact, to be using a potential weapon in close proximity to my skin but I was too excited to be finally leaving the infirmary to feel nervous. My excitement increased when I saw Jonas watching from the observation window, he was coming to see me again? I faltered as Jonas walked away abruptly when he saw my eyes on him but Colonel Murray quickly distracted me by sucking in a breath of air through clenched teeth and, as I looked away from the window, I soon found out why.

My leg, which had felt solid and secure inside the cast, was atrophied and bruised and my faith in my ability to walk was quickly diminishing. It wasn't like me to be squeamish; years of treating my own injuries and injuring others had desensitized almost to the point of numbness. On the other hand, in the past, I had mainly been able to tell how bad an injury was by the level of pain I was feeling. In this case I'd felt very little pain, Earthlings were very generous with their medication, and so the sight of my bruised and weakened limb was a shock.

"A piece of metal pierced your leg when the ship crashed" Doctor Janet explained, catching my wrist hand as I moved gingerly to touch the injured appendage.

"Is...my arm gonna look like this too?" I questioned, feeling, for the first time on Earth, a little afraid of being so hurt and very aware of my useless right arm.

Doctor Janet was silent but I could read her eyes and I spoke my thoughts aloud.

"Worse?"

"She did a number on you, Kiddo" Colonel Murray said grimly, doing the Earthling-avoidance thing that I had so far only managed to get Sam to quit.

"Come on, you've been nagging me about this for ages" Janet smiled, "Come on, sit up" she ordered and I tried to obey, trying to find strength that simply didn't seem to be there.

"There you go…" Colonel Murray pulled me upright with a hand behind my back and I smiled gratefully.

"Thanks, Sir."

"I've got your back, Kid, you know that." He smiled, making eye contact. I simply looked away but Colonel Murray caught my jaw in his hand, turning it slowly so I was looking at him again. "You know that, right?" He questioned and I nodded slowly.

"I think so, Sir."

"Good" the colonel replied firmly, "Now come on, up you get" he ordered, shifting his grip to my upper arm as I slipped off the bed, immediately shifting my weight onto my right leg.

"Alright, that's good, that's good" Janet soothed as she moved to support me from my other side, being careful not to touch my right arm which was taped to my chest, still cased in the cast.

"Now, just take a step forward" She instructed, "Just slowly."

I tried to obey, but moving my hip which had been stationary for months sent jarring bursts of agony racing up and down my leg and I clutched Colonel Murray reflexively. I tried to get my ragged breathing under control as I shuddered from the pain and I shook my head weakly.

"I can't…" I paused for a second, frustrated with my own weakness, before trying and failing again. "I can't do it" I admitted.

"Come on Quinn, just try again." Colonel Murray encouraged.

"'Kay…Sir" I agreed, more out of obedience than any will to succeed and as I felt that shooting pain sear through my body yet again, I let my mind wander a little to escape the pain.

* * *

"**Why do you keep trying so hard when it hurts you so much?" ****My voice was quiet, partly through weakness, partly through pain but mostly through awe at the strength of the man lying beside me.**

"**What's that, Kid?" he replied, turning kind, piercing light blue eyes to face me as I caught his attention.**

"**I mean, they ain't gonna kill you if you can't walk, right? They're not gonna beat you or nothin'…" I trailed off at the look on the young soldier's face.**

"**Nah. They ain't gonna do that" he chuckled softly,**

"**Then why?" I asked, "Why do you hurt yourself?" I questioned before looking away and mumbling quietly "I don't like it when you're hurt…"**

"**Hey, come on, smile. I don't like it when you're hurt either."**

**I nodded a little. It was weird sharing a bond with such a stranger but through our time together in this hospital I'd begun to understand a little how this whole mutual friendship thing worked.**

"**But you know, I put myself through this, because I know I can beat it. I'm stronger than this pain, that's all you have to remember" he informed me, his eyes glittering with determination. "And so can you" he said firmly. **

"**Me?" I questioned and the man nodded, grinning.**

"**Yeah…you, Quinn."**

"**But I ain't strong like you or nothing" I mumbled, afraid of someone having so much confidence in me. **

"**Hey, don't you be saying that, you just remember what I told you" he insisted, "You can do this" he insisted and I nodded a little uncertainly.**

"**Ah, you're not getting off the hook that easily" he smirked, "I want to hear you say it."**

"**Say it?" I echoed, feeling a little stupid. **

"**That's right. Say it, Kid. 'I can do this' – say it."**

"**I…"**

* * *

"I can do this." I said I breathed out, easing my weight gingerly onto the injured limb for a brief second. The pain was still there, but this time I chose not ignore it, thinking instead of the words my hospital room mate had drilled into me.

"Alright, nice going, Quinn." Murray smiled.

"Just a little more and we'll call it a day, alright?" Janet soothed.

"'Kay" I replied quietly before turning to her and telling what I had remembered. "Doctor Janet?"

"Yes?"

"I can do this."

* * *

**Alright, not the best chapter I know but I've been really stressed lately. I hope it wasn't too awful for you. **


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Gah, it's been a while and it's a short chapter. Still Easter holidays soon and I should be able to update more then. **

* * *

The sound of that saw was enough to make me feel sick with fear and, as the young nurse lowered it towards Quinn's leg I had to look away. My clone on the other hand was grinning his face off, his eyes shining with that childlike innocence and complete trust in Janet. It was beyond me how he could tolerate even a syringe being near him let alone a whirring saw. On top of all that, he was letting a stranger wield it near him, just because Janet said this nurse could be trusted.

It baffled me how a man who had such little reason to trust anyone could posses such blind faith. It seemed trust was just one more thing my clone managed to surpass me on.I cursed internally, feeling frustrated with myself, and turned away from the window – I felt bad enough already, I didn't want any more reminders of my own shortcomings.

My thoughts and emotions were too unstable to contemplate doing any work and, if I'm completely honest, I wasn't in the mood to do anything that required much effort on my part. It was too late for lunch and too early for dinner but the thought of food was comforting and the mindless act of eating would be distracting enough to keep me occupied so I turned right out of the observation area and made my way to the commissary.

* * *

Under any normal circumstances I would have been delighted at Doctor Jackson and Teal'cs' invitation for me to join them. As it was, all I wanted was some time alone but it wasn't as though I had much of a choice – refusal of their invitation wasn't an option if I wanted them to ever invite me again.

"Teal'c" I greeted as I sat down, trying not to sound too depressed, "Doctor Jackson."

"How many times do I have to tell you? 'Daniel' is fine." Doctor Jackson was smiling and I attempted one of my own in response but it was weak and both he and Teal'c could see it.

"Are you well, Jonas Quinn?" the Jaffa questioned and I nodded, before pausing and then shaking my head in a move that reminded me vaguely of my clone and I rolled my eyes – was there nothing I could do to stop that man invading my thoughts?

"I just went to the infirmary to visit Quinn" I explained and to my surprise it was a look of understanding that passed over the faces of my two colleagues, not scorn.

"How is he?" Doctor Jackson asked, his tone a little concerned, but whether that was concern towards me or concern about Quinn I couldn't be sure.

"He was trying to walk" I replied, trying to sound enthused "They cut his cast off."

"That is good news." Teal'c was smiling, pride shining in his usually unreadable eyes and I tried not to feel jealous.

"Yeah" I replied flatly, "It's great."

"And how are _you_?" Doctor Jackson questioned, his gaze holding a wisdom reminiscent of how I imagined an ascended being would look.

"Well, I can walk" I tried to joke, not really wanting to talk about this but knowing somewhere deep down that I really ought to.

Teal'c simply raised an eyebrow and I sighed, knowing my act had been rumbled.

"I think he's probably more OK than I am. More OK than I'll ever be" I admitted, feeling a little strange opening up to someone who wasn't Janet.

"How so?" Teal'c enquired his face not judgemental, only curious.

"Insofar as he's not a nervous wreck" I replied bitterly. Hell, I'd started opening up, why stop now?

"Ah Jonas, you need to stop comparing yourself to other people" Daniel spoke, looking at me kindly. "First me, now Quinn - Quinn is Quinn and you are you" he said firmly.

"Yeah but he's-"

"He's so relieved to be away from Nirtti and on a cocktail of drugs so strong he probably can't even consider what he's been through" Daniel interrupted and I paused for thought – that made a little sense.

"He's going to need time, and so are you. All that matters is you get through it."

At my look of uncertainty, the archaeologist raised his gaze and made eye contact

"And you will get through it."

* * *

So, after a little persuasion from Teal'c and Doctor Jackson, I found myself back in the infirmary again looking at my clone properly instead of from a distance. I was obvious from the slightly vacant look in his eyes and lopsided grin on his face that Janet had doped him up pretty well. I couldn't help but laugh at his expression.

"Jonas!" His wobbly gaze fixed on me for a while before straying to Daniel and Teal'c at either side of me. "Jonas is here" he informed them seriously, raising a hand to point vaguely in my direction before catching sight of his finger and studying it curiously.

"How are you feeling, Quinn?" Daniel asked, a smirk playing on his lips and Quinn stopped studying his own hand long enough to turn to Daniel and pause for a second.

"I feel…." He paused as if searching for words, "Like chocolate!" he announced happily. "Do you have some?"

"We do not" Teal'c replied, seemingly a little bewildered by Quinn's totally out of character behaviour. A drugged up Kelownan was a pretty rare sight and to see Quinn so talkative and relaxed, it was both funny and surprising.

"That's sad" Quinn said forlornly, "C'nel O…Coln'l O'N…Colonel O'Jack brings me chocolate" he glared before turning his head to stare at the ceiling.

"He _should _be unconscious." As Janet came round the corner I could see the look of frustration on her face although, that only seemed to make the situation funnier and I couldn't help but laugh as Quinn attempted to shake his head and answered back

"No, _you _should be unconscious."

"His leg was hurting him a lot after he tired walking on it. He wouldn't say anything though so I gave him some morphine." She explained, "I was expecting him to be dozing by now but…" the doctor shrugged helplessly and rolled her eyes, shifting to look at Quinn who had managed to distract himself with his toes under the blankets.

"Well – at least he's not 'not saying anything' anymore" Daniel smirked and we both cracked up which drew Quinn's attention yet again as he hurriedly shushed us.

"This issan 'opsital, you know" he glared and Daniel shook his head in disbelief.

"You are so out of it….Are you _sure _it was only morphine, Janet?" He asked and Quinn spoke for her.

"I had like, one thing this morning" he informed us, "And then like, one thing and then one other thing and like a couple of other things but 'part from that s'been a nice day" he smiled and I nodded slowly, biting down on the inside before giving up and bursting out in laughter again.

It felt good to laugh, even it was, good-naturedly, at Quinn's expense and, as I finally straightened up, I remembered Daniel's words

"_You will get through it_"

Amazingly, I was beginning to believe him.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Okay, this isn't great but it beats the essay I _should _be writing so I hope you enjoy**

* * *

I groaned a little as I struggled into wakefulness, blinking against the infirmary lights that blurred in and out of focus, and trying to lift my head which felt heavier than normal. 

"You think this is bad, you should experience a hangover." 

Colonel O'Neill's voice coaxed me into wakefulness but I couldn't seem to bring myself to feel alert and I couldn't even be bothered to reply, even though I had no idea what he meant

_Hang over what?_

"Afternoon" he greeted with a smirk and I frowned, how long had I been asleep?

"Colonel." I greeted as I tried to sort out my memories.

"He's back in the land of the sober" Colonel O'Neill announced as I rubbed my eyes with my working arm. 

"Does that mean we can't distract him with shiny pennies any more?" I heard Colonel Murray ask and I frowned in confusion.

"Ignore them, Quinn." 

I opened my eyes again at the sound of the new voice and smiled happily as I saw who it was.

"Sam!" 

Sam smiled and I instinctively took her hand in my own as she reached over to plant a kiss on my forehead.

"Are you okay?" I asked and she nodded.

"I missed you" I added. It had only been hours since I had seen her previously but it was true. 

"And I get a grunt as my welcome…" Colonel O'Neill scowled, feigning hurt. 

"At least you got a welcome" Colonel Murray sighed, his hand on his heart in mock-despair and I smiled shyly.

"I missed you both too." I told them with a slight smirk, looking past the two Colonels as the door opened and Doctor Janet entered, accompanied by Doctor MacKenzie.

"Oh no…not more 'therapy'" I muttered to myself, Colonel O'Neill's resulting snicker informing me I hadn't been as quiet as I'd intended.

"Good afternoon, Quinn" Doctor MacKenzie's voice was just as I remembered it.

"How are you feeling?" 

Now that voice I liked a lot more.

"I'm fine thank you, Doctor Janet" I replied automatically before relenting under the doctor's sceptical glare. "I…kinda have a headache…" I finally admitted. It really was the least of all my aches and pains but, despite the Earthling's insistence that I tell them about when I was in pain, I still hated to admit. 

"_Weak slaves are useless slaves, Twenty-three. Show them a weakness and they'll just beat on that spot even more."_

I scowled as I pulled myself into the present. I did **not**want to be having flashbacks with MacKenzie in the room.

"Quinn, Doctor MacKenzie and I wanted to talk to you" Doctor Janet began and I nodded cautiously. I was pretty sure this wasn't going to be just a nice conversation about what they were serving in the commissary. I could feel Sam's thumb rubbing soothing circles on the back of my hand and I glanced at her briefly in thanks – knowing Sam was with me made things a little easier to cope with. 

"It's about your recovery" Doctor MacKenzie picked up where Janet had left off and I looked up hopefully.

"Do I get to leave?" I asked hopefully, my smile fading as the two Doctor's exchanged glances. 

"Quinn, to be blunt with you, we're a little concerned about how slowly you're healing" Janet explained, 

And there it was. What I'd tried so hard not to think about. The fact that I should have been healed by now. The fact even humans didn't take four months to heal a bruise. But to say it, in front of Colonel Murray and Colonel O'Neill…they would both think I was weak now. 

All I could manage to choke out past the lump in my throat was "Me too…"

"We're sure if it's something physical or…" Doctor Janet trailed of looking oddly irritated and I breathed in sharply. Beside me, the heart rate monitor beeped harshly, simply fuelling my panic and I could feel everyone's eyes turn to look at me.

"Please, I'm sorry. I'm trying. I'll get better quicker, I promise!" I insisted, desperate to stave off whatever Doctor Janet was going to say next. 

"Quinn, calm down" Colonel O'Neill ordered and I turned to look at him with wide, desperate eyes. Was he here for the same reasons as Doctor MacKenzie? 

"Colonel, I'm sorry. I can walk, I promise, I don't care if it hurts."

"Quinn!" Colonel Murray's harsh shout stunned me into silence and I looked at him, too shocked even to defend myself. "Calm down and listen" he ordered bluntly and I nodded dumbfoundedly, turning to look at Doctor Janet again. 

"No one blames you, Quinn" MacKenzie started slowly. "This is not your fault. _However_we do have to consider that there may be a psychological reason behind your slow progress." 

I suddenly felt like a child again, confused and terrified of another a beating as I whispered "What does that mean?"

"We all know that you want to get better, Quinn" MacKenzie explained

"And we all _want_you to get better" Sam added kindly,

"But there is a chance your slow healing has a psychophysiological origin" MacKenzie continued, cut off once again as Colonel O'Neill rolled his eyes.

"Oh yes, that makes it much clearer for us" he drawled sarcastically. I was just relieved to know I wasn't the only person not understanding.

"Basically, there's a chance your subconscious is inhibiting your body's natural healing mechanisms" the Doctor concluded.

That still didn't make it completely clear but Colonel Murray summed it up as he spoke indignantly. "You think it's all in his head!" 

"I want to get better!" I protested to the psychologist before he had a chance to reply.

"I know that, Quinn but, last time you recovered enough to go on a mission you were placed in very a distressing situation. I'm just considering the possibility that your subconscious is trying to protect you from that happening again." 

"'A very distressing situation'…" I murmured quietly to myself.

"That's one way to put it" Sam muttered darkly in my ear and I nodded.

Despite the fact that this man was slowly making me more and more angry and I didn't like having my failings brought to light in front of the people whose opinions I valued the most, it still felt unbelievably strange to have all these people on my side – sticking up for me…protecting me.

"That's bull, MacKenzie" Colonel O'Neill sneered.

"It's a _possibility_" MacKenzie replied smoothly. I was relieved when Doctor Janet stepped in to break up the argument. I did _not_want people arguing over me – I was uncomfortable enough having people defend me casually - an all out argument was unthinkable. 

"Either way, we think it would be better for you to get out of the infirmary for a little while".

And with that short sentence, I forgot everything about the last ten minutes as I broke into a beaming smile and replied

"Thank you." 

* * *

**Ok, short and not-great I know but the next chapter will be better!**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Hey-oh, update time. Warnings - language, angst, usual stuff.**

* * *

As I walked into the infirmary I wasn't greeted with the ecstatic, smiling Quinn I'd been expecting, rather a sullen, quietly pissed-off version of my clone, perched on the edge of an unoccupied infirmary bed

As I walked into the infirmary I wasn't greeted with the ecstatic, smiling Quinn I'd been expecting, rather a sullen, quietly pissed-off version of my clone, perched on the edge of an unoccupied infirmary bed. Janet was bustling in a supply cabinet at the end of the room whilst Major Carter attempted to calm down a very indignant pair of Air Force Colonels leaving Quinn staring forlornly down at his bare feet.

"Hey" I said quietly as I entered, knowing how easily startled my clone could be at times.

"Jonas" Quinn smiled as I walked up to him but it soon faded, replaced by an almost-pout and a hint of annoyance. Unlike me, most of the time Quinn tried to keep his negative emotions hidden. It was almost as though he felt guilty for being annoyed or upset with the people that, in his view, he didn't even deserve to be around. Still, I could tell he was upset and it was in my nature to want to cheer him up.

"Hasn't anyone told you the good news?" I asked him, pasting a smile on my face in an attempt to raise his spirits.

"Yeah…" Quinn rolled his eyes, "25 minutes ago"

"What?!" I exclaimed in disbelief, "What's the hold up?"

"Well, they had to unhook me from all those machines" My clone gestured with his head to the tangle of electrodes and wires, "And now Doctor Janet keeps bringing me pills and bandages and…" Quinn trailed off hopelessly as my eyes strayed to the pile of medical supplies beside him. Typical Janet, playing the mother hen… my heart swelled with fondness as I watched her work - I loved her for it.

"That stuff is important" I replied, deciding to stick up for the woman I loved, no matter how hard it was in the face of Quinn's unhappy acceptance of his situation.

"Yeah" he finally agreed after a pause, before adding in a voice that made me feel unbelievably protective, "But my feet are cold…"

"_Why the heck am I feeling so bad about that?" _I questioned myself furiously as I searched for Quinn's socks, _"Wait a minute, why the heck am I looking for his socks?"_

It was the same feeling I'd felt as I'd watched my cousins' children playing out in the war torn streets of the Kelownan slums. It was my mother's side of the family that had brought the money into my family, my mother's side of the family that allowed us to live in our luxurious house in the Kelownan capital and my mother's side of the family that meant I had the best of everything. My father's father however had been a miner meaning my father had grown up with very little and his financial input to the family had been almost non-existent. So my Dad really found his lucky break when Mum fell in love with him, the rest of his family however, hadn't been so fortunate. Every few months we would go and visit my uncle and his children, smuggling as much through the border patrols as we could and I'd watch as my cousins played on the streets littered with pot holes and broken glass whilst I hid behind the safety of my parents. Even as an adult, watching the same thing happen to the next generation of Kelownan children, I'd felt just as horrified and confused as to why such things could happen and a furious wish to try and stop it.

"_You're really comparing that to Quinn having cold feet?" _I asked myself in disbelief as I knelt down to place the socks I didn't remember finding on Quinn's feet. It was only when he flinched away automatically with a gasp of shock that I came out of my thoughts and into my senses.

"Jeez, Quinn, I'm sorry" I stammered out, cursing myself when Quinn wouldn't meet my eyes, "I should have respected your personal space and asked you first."

"I'm sorry" Quinn replied quietly, "I just…I'm…" He trailed off helplessly and I was silent as moved cautiously, bending back down knowing this seemingly insignificant gesture stood to build Quinn's trust in me a little more.

It was only when I bent Quinn's foot up that I realised the origin of Quinn's reaction. It wasn't so much fear but…

As I looked up Quinn had his head turned away and I shook my head, feeling more protective than ever and increasingly sick,

"Don't tell me you're embarrassed…" I pleaded as I looked back at the sole of Quinn's foot, to the cause of both our distress. The tender skin was littered with scars of cuts and scrapes which wasn't surprising if one considered that Quinn probably hadn't even owned a pair of shoes until he was given his military boots. No, it was the round, raised, circular scars that made me shudder as I ran my finger over them.

"Quinn?" I asked cautiously, just wanting him to speak.

"They burned me…" he whispered, his eyes wide with that panicked, haunted look I hated "To stop me running. I'm sorry."

He didn't offer any more explanation or another unnecessary apology and I wasn't sure I could stomach one. Instead I simply rolled down one of the socks and pulled it onto Quinn's foot before rolling it up his ankle, symbolically covering up the marks.

"There" I pasted a smile on my face as I stood back up, "That's better isn't it?"

"_Please get the meaning behind that"_ I pleaded with my gaze, _"Because I don't have the stomach to spell it out for you" _

Quinn nodded a little. His face was pale but his gaze ventured up to meet mine as he replied quietly, "Thank you" while his eyes begged, just like mine had done.

_Please get the meaning behind that because I don't know how else to say it._

"Now, you'd better go back to being pissed off, "I smirked, proud of the steadiness in my voice, "Janet's coming back and _still _in full on mother-hen mode."

* * *

I felt stupidly happy that it was _me _Quinn chose to lean on whilst he got the hang of the crutch Janet thrust under his arm. Okay, so maybe it's not ethical to be happy about things like that but I allowed myself some indulgence as Quinn, Major Carter, Colonel O'Neill and I made our way down the corridors. Colonel Murray had remained to talk to his teammate working in the infirmary and Janet had stayed to catch up on a ridiculous backlog of patients she had neglected in favour of loading Quinn's pockets with more medicine than he would ever need.

Quinn himself was quiet as we walked. A little of it was the pain, I expected – I could understand that. Mainly, however, I assumed he was just trying to readjust – I could understand that too. In all my dreams of rescue and escape whilst I was held on Nirrti's ship, I'd never imagined that I would find the SGC scary but that was exactly what it had been – a daunting, unfamiliar, frightening maze of steel and concrete. How much worse must it be for Quinn who had barely got to consider it home in the first place?

"You okay?" I asked him quietly as we turned a corner. His reply was instant, emotionless and a complete lie.

"I'm fine, thank you."

I didn't have time to consider it further as we stopped outside the door to one of the guest quarters.

"How's that memory of yours holding up?" Colonel O'Neill asked as he moved to stand by Quinn who simply looked at the floor and gave a shrug with one shoulder. Luckily, Sam picked up the signs as I had done and took hold of Quinn's hand.

"It's okay…" she soothed with a relaxed smile on her face, "These are your quarters" she explained.

Quinn looked up at that, some of the wariness gone from his expression.

"My quarters?" he repeated, moving away from me and leaning against Sam as she looped his arm around her shoulders as I had done. It worried me a little that she needed to do this - Quinn really wasn't healed enough to be out of the infirmary. Still, his trepidation at Colonel O'Neill's playful teasing indicated that MacKenzie could be right – it was clear that, subconsciously, Quinn still harboured a lot of anxiety. The fact he had moved to Sam however, suggested he felt safe with her, safer than he did with me, and whilst this stung a little, it was understandable and I tired not to let it bother me.

"Do you remember?" Sam asked gently and Quinn paused for a second before nodding thoughtfully.

"There was a lock on the door…"

That struck me as a pretty strange thing to remember but I didn't comment, waiting for Quinn to continue.

"And a bed, a really nice bed." Quinn was smiling slightly now.

"That's right" Colonel O'Neill replied as he pushed open the door. The lack of a sarcastic barb from the Colonel in the face of Quinn's obvious statements about his room was just as noticeable to me as if he had made one. I knew that if that were me, the Colonel wouldn't have held back.

Still, I couldn't stay bitter for long as Colonel O'Neill pushed the door open and Quinn's expression changed from one of barely concealed nervousness to astonishment and finally confusion. Quinn's bed was piled with what looked like a mountain of presents, all neatly stacked in a way that only someone as precise as Teal'c could have managed.

And speaking of Teal'c - he stood beside the present-mountain along with Doctor Jackson and General Hammond. Behind us, I heard a series of familiar voices and I turned to see Janet, Colonel Murray and a host of other people I didn't recognise. What drew my attention most, however, was the one sound that managed to drown out even the enthusiastic cry of "'surprise!"' – a loud, equally excited barking.

And then I got my surprise as I saw something I'd never witnessed before as Quinn's face broke out in a huge, beaming grin, a far cry from the timid almost-smiles he'd shown previously.

"I dunno why you're all shouting," Even his voice seemed 'brighter' if that was possible. "But this sure is a surprise!"


	9. Chapter 9

To whoever sent me that nice review asking me to get in touch - I cant' cos youre anonymous :( x


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